By Craig Carr
To be a pastor is a privilege and a calling and an honor. The life and work of a pastor involves an incorporation of the heart, mind, and soul. The preparation for and practice of ministry brings together the personal calling of the heart, the formal education of the mind—as well as professional employment—and the pouring of one’s soul into the challenges of pastoral leadership within a local church.
Like many other vocations, undergraduate and graduate degrees serve as preparation for pastors to meet the common expectations of the job with excellence and proficiency. However, once deployed in the full time practice of ministry, there is much more to be discovered under the title of “pastor.” These are a few of the hidden realities that many pastors face while doing their very best to serve the Lord in the context of pastoral ministry.
- The pressure of living up to members’ expectations. Pastors may look like they have it all together, but beneath the smooth, public persona reside the same insecurities that every human faces. Sure, most pastors love the practice of preaching and teaching and telling funny stories and engaging in conversation. But what about the difficult sermon topics that must be addressed and the un- popular leadership decisions that must sometimes be made?
- The high expectations we place on ourselves can be draining. A pastor’s fear of failure is real. The misnomer that you’re “only as good as your last sermon” represents the evaluation pastors submit themselves to every week. Sometimes we allow insecurity to cause us to become overprotective of our reputation and our position.
- The temptation to please others is strong.
For many pastors, there is a strong temptation to do that which will bring them affirmation and approval, both personally and professionally. Sometimes doing what’s best for the church is not the most popular thing, and living with the fact that you will disappoint some people can be difficult. When it comes to criticism, it’s far too easy to allow a few negatives to overshadow many positives. I remember preaching my heart out one Sabbath only to be greeted at the back door with the comment, “Maybe someone should show you how to iron your shirt properly.” However ridiculous and trivial a criticism may be, it can still have an affect on the heart of a pastor.
- The pastor’s children and spouse feel the pressures of expectations. Whether self-imposed or kindled by others, the pressure to be the perfect example is unfair and unbiblical. Not every church still expects the pas- tor’s spouse to play the piano, teach Sabbath school, and attend every church event, but there can be other kinds of pressure that create strain. For a variety of reasons, the role of pastor can often be a lonely one, especially if their young children do not sit motionless on the front pew in perfect silence. And for PKs (pastor’s kids) there must be safety, acceptance, and a personal interest taken in them—just as if they were any other young person in the church.
- The feeling of accomplishment is fleeting.
Most pastors do not know how to answer the question, “Is my work making an impact?” Aside from preaching and other meetings, much of the work of the pastor during the week is only seen by a few. We tend to measure the worth of a pastor by counting “nickels and noses” (“nickels” meaning tithes/offerings, and “noses” meaning attendance), while these statistics demonstrate just a part of the story of a pas- tor’s efforts. In fact, many pastors pass along the sense of accomplishment to the members involved in the work of ministry.
- The work of ministry is emotionally demanding. Pastors are often the target of criticism about church life or even the personal struggles that weigh heavily on other people’s hearts. Long after a visit or conversation has ended, the lasting effects remain lodged in our hearts and can affect us personally. Frankly, it’s very difficult to know whom to trust with your inner thoughts and feelings. That’s why many pastors appear guarded and hard to get to know.
- Simply stated, pastors are people too. They share the same real life, everyday, normal needs as everyone else. They need to feel accepted by others, with a sense of belonging that comes from who they are, not from what they do. Perhaps the opportunity will arise during “Pastor Appreciation Month” (October), to affirm and acknowledge your pastor as person and friend.
–Craig Carr is RMC ministerial director.
Sources:
“Nine Secrets Pastors Keep” by Mandy Smith. www.seminarygradschool.com
“10 Secrets Many Senior Pastors Keep” by Ron Edmondson. www.churchleaders.com