By Ron Price
Is it just me or does it seem we live in a society that is getting more and more violent with each passing day? Some might argue that this is more a function of nonstop, 24-hour news coverage than an actual uptick in violence, but I’m not so sure. I do believe ours has become a super-sensitive society, quick to see insult or attack when it might not have been intended. And when we feel threatened or attacked, we can far too easily resort to a violent reaction.
As I write in my book Play Nice in Your Sandbox at Work, jumping to conclusions has become America’s favorite exercise. While I say that with my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek, it does seem that people today get really aggravated over seemingly trivial matters and take things the wrong way more often than not. It is certainly not my place to judge, but you have probably heard the expression “pick your hill to die on”—meaning “don’t give all your time, energy, effort and resources to matters that really aren’t all that significant in the overall scheme of life.” I regularly see people getting upset over hills that probably aren’t worth “dying on.”
Along with being super-sensitive, I believe people are resorting to violence more readily than they might have in years past—probably as the result of the seemingly non-stop diet of violent television and video games we are exposed to on a regular basis. We know that by beholding Christ, we become more like Him. Doesn’t it, therefore, make sense that by beholding violence, negativity, and un-Christlike behavior we become changed in that direction as well?
As Bible-believing Christians, none of this should surprise us. Paul wrote to Timothy: “You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, NLT). Doesn’t that sound eerily like what you might read in today’s newspaper?
Violence in our society has become an all-too-typical reaction to anger. Note I said reaction, not response. Reactions are instantaneous and devoid of forethought. Responses, on the other hand, are reasoned and calculated, which makes them more appropriate in most circumstances.
The late Dr. Gary Smalley said that all anger is the result of a blocked goal. We feel someone, or something, is standing between us and what we want. I first heard that statement over 20 years ago and have not yet found it to be wrong.
Unfortunately, when we feel we are being denied something we want, we too easily leave the thinking part of our brain and enter smack dab into the middle of our feeling brain. In his book Soar Above, Dr. Steven Stosny makes the distinction between the adult brain (thinking) and the toddler brain (feeling). Any of us, regardless of our age, can act like children when we don’t get our way. As children, all we knew to do in such situations was to throw a tantrum and hit somebody–perhaps even ourselves. It can be mighty embarrassing when we grownups act like spoiled little children, can’t it?
Dr. Larry Crabb says that at the root of all sin you find self-centeredness. I think he is absolutely correct. At the root of all violence is self-centeredness, and the only way I know to cure that is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and relinquish your rights to Him. I personally believe that we as a nation have turned too far from God and will not return en masse before Christ returns. But in the meantime, we can each do our part to remain in constant contact and communion with Him and let Him help us always respond with love—never with violence.
–Ron Price is a member of the RMC executive committee from Farmington, New Mexico. His new book is Play Nice in Your Sandbox at Work.