By Brandon Westgate

While every person is unique, there are some common questions that young people have that many times they never get an opportunity to ask. Creating some intentional conversations where they can be genuine and you can simply guide the conversation can be extremely beneficial for them in being able to process what they are thinking and can aid in you developing a more personal relationship with them.

These three questions are not anything new, but it is a good reminder for us to remember to include these topics in our worship thoughts. As you guide young people through these topics leave a lot of space for “chasing rabbits” and “dead-end comments.” You don’t need to give them the answer, just guide them to it so they arrive at it on their own.

Before we jump in, here are a couple of ice breaker discussion starters:

  • Teens trust influencers more than they trust institutions. Ask them if they feel this way and how they feel about the church. Be prepared to listen and not defend!
  • Fewer than one third of Americans rate pastors as highly honest and ethical. What do you think about that?

Here are those promised three questions.

Question 1: Who am I?

It’s a big question, and young people are constantly bombarded with social media influencers and YouTube algorithms while they are trying to navigate school, relationships both online and IRL (in real life), questions about faith, extra-curricular activities, chores, etc.

During all of this, they are trying to discover who they are. If we don’t give them guidance they can be led to believe that they are something they are not. The Bible is plain that we are all children of God first and foremost. This is our actual identity. The enemy is always trying to make us believe things about us that are not true.

Simply put, we are not what we do, we are who God declares us to be.

If a young person takes something that is not theirs, they may think of themselves as a thief. And you may as well! The enemy will also remind them at every opportunity that that is who they are. It is not who they are! They are a child of God! We are not simply a sum total of what we do. We are who God declares us to be! They need to know that they are unconditionally loved by their Creator in spite of poor decisions that they may have made or will make.

You will likely find the enemy has made a lot of inroads here and it may take a bit for this to land with them. We have our work cut out for us!

Question 2: Where do I fit in?

Young people are trying to find where they fit in, and the goalposts are always moving!

Where do I fit in school, at home, at church? Young people are wrestling with how to fit in. Maybe you remember that struggle as well. Help remind them that they are part of something bigger than themselves, a community of believers who are called to love their neighbor well.

This is always a challenging conversation and usually requires a lot of listening on your part. Let them share how they are navigating fitting in.

Remind them they are part of a family of family of believers and that this is not their forever home.

CS Lewis wrote, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

We are fully accepted by God and there is room for us in the kingdom, even when we have trouble finding our place from time to time here in the present.

Question 3: What is my purpose?

They may have many different ideas of what their ultimate purpose is. Let them share.

Firstly, knowing God, then serving God and others is the meta narrative. What that looks like from day to day can be very different.

Sometimes it easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed by focusing on the temporal, rather than looking at things through the lens of eternity. Purpose brings meaning and intentionality to what we do. Without purpose we can feel like a hamster on a wheel. This conversation can be very helpful for young people to talk through. I know many adults who still struggle with their purpose, so this conversation can easily extend beyond generational lines.

I hope this is helpful as you continue to engage the young people in your midst! Thank you are all you do to share the love of God with these precious ones. You are making a difference!

—Brandon Westgate is the Rocky Mountain Conference Youth director. Photo by Meredith Spencer of Unsplash.